What's with health food? Can't it just stick to being health food and not try and convice us that is tastes good too? I've always been under the impression that eating deserts and the like were supposed to be bad for you, hence the not eating them too much. But when health food tries to be desert/tasty doesn't it become the enemy as well?
Health food isn't good for you so much so that it tastes so bad that you only eat a little bit of it before your gag reflex says, "NO MORE!" You eat less food which means, you lose weight. Pretty easy to understand. Now, I know what you're thinking, "But health food deserts taste like crap too!"
Does it? Does it, really?
Drinking Diet Coke doesn't help you lose weight cuz it tastes better than Coke, which means you drink more which equals biggness. Diet Pepsi tastes like crap... like Diet food should. By this reasoning we can see that Coke is evil.
Jenny Craig for a while was supported by Kirsti Allie... need I say more.
Right before Princess Diana died, Sarah Ferguson said that losing weight was, "Harder than avoiding the paparazzi!" Hence, Weight Watchers and British royalty are evil.
Wait... I've gotten off track here... OH YEAH! Health food deserts (and in general) are slowly becoming tolerable, as this continues people will want to eat more of it. I think this is a plot by Al Qeada (I think its misspelled... I don't care) in order to destroy american self-esteem. If you're eating health food, but gaining weight, wouldn't that crush you?!?!
So, I say the patriotic thing is to put down your artifical sweeteners and margarine. Give your 3 year old sticks of butter to snack on! Drench your corn flakes in sugar! Put down that Diet Coke and pick up a Pepsi! Remember Satan is a master of lies! If it tastes good, it's not healthy! Go back to rice cakes and water if you must lose weight!
Don't let them win!!!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Jenny Craig and other Evil things
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8 thoughts:
artificial sweeteners are SO BAD FOR YOU!!!! unless you're a diabetic you should just drink regular old soda. i never buy margarine and always always have real butter. real sugar. no substitutes. if you're going to have a cookie, dammit have a cookie. have a rootbeer. none of this artificial stuff.
I don't ever eat health food, so I am not sure how it tastes. I can tell you it looks disgusting enough that I don't want to try it. But I agree with you on at least one point...Coke is evil. Drink more Pepsi!!!
oh my!!!! Has Emily stopped feeing you well or something? MAN...that was quite the post! But I agree...all this 100 calorie pack nonsense just makes you wanna eat 3 or 4...and at that rate, you might as well eat a regular bag of M&Ms and be satisfied w/ what you actually wanted in the first place!
mmm.... M&Ms.... Oreos.... Cupcakes....
What? Oh. I'm off track too.
Call me a total nutjob, but I'm actually enjoying the whole healthy eating thins. Now, I don't do "diet food" like the whole Jenny Craig thing- rather I'm more into portion control and not eating so dang often like I used to.
But I'm surprised my wife spoke so strongly against 100-calorie packs- I think they're one of the great innovations of the 21st century.
But again, call me nuts if you want. Or give me nuts. Preferably cashews or almonds. But only in 100-calorie portions. So 3 nuts, please.
I'm hungry.
Tee hee...I like the way your mind works.
Me? I go for anything chocolate...it is my weakness. The day they make a delicious non calorie chocolate anything will be the apocalypse.
Oh, Joe. You rock!
I don't know whether to laugh or find a pitch fork and torches!
How glad I am my kids aren't old enough to read this or I may have a revolution on my hands. You made me smile, Joe!
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