Fireflies

I didn't discover fireflies until I moved to St. Louis. There is no memory bubble in my head that has an attachment from childhood to the luminous bugs. I suppose the closest thing I have are the fake fireflies at the beginning of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Disneyland, where you go through the bayou in the beginning. Needless to say, I thought that the tiny glowing lights floating around the creole hut were just something that came out of cartoons.

I'm not quite sure how to describe my reaction to my first lighting bug. To put it the best way...."HOLY $#*%!"

I believe I've lost the sense of awe I once had. Maybe it's something to do with the innumerable amounts of crap I clean up at work. I used to love looking up just to see stars. Now I just don't have the time.

I think this is the reason why I feel like I'm losing it. Or at least one of the reasons. I think constant discovery is important. And not just learning new things for work or because you have to, but because you want to.

Discovery for it's own sake has a certain beauty to it. I've stopped learning things because I want to, and now feel suffocated by the things that are being forced at me.

So here's another thing that I need to incorporate into my life, and that's to actively discover things again. And this especially pertains to the things that I have to learn.